MATTVED: Matěj Adámek

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Written on 28th Jan, 2017 in Reflections

Is it just me or do more than 50% of blog-type websites contain a single post, which is about blogging? The author promises how they're gonna contribute to the to the page at least once a week and then they just stop. No warning, no notice, no excuse - just as if the person just disappeared for ever.

I always feel sort of sorry for these people. They probably needed to vent. And they started but then realized that there actually isn't anything they need to vent so badly to post it online while remaining hidden behind a virtual identity.

It is the identity, the intellectual being, who is being killed on the first day of its life. So, are the starting bloggers committing a murder or is it one of the many methods of what I call a little suicide? Little suicide is an act that a person does in order to hurt themselves relatively badly on their mental or physical side. Each cigarette is a little suicide. So is wrist-cutting, eating excessive amounts of unhealthy food, driving car at 250 mph, doing pull-ups on a crane or simply being mentally inactive.

People use little suicides as a method of coping. Some languages use the term malcoping for these. Surprisingly enough, English is not one of them. They do them because they need to cope with themselves, or rather a part of them, which they hate. Subconsciously, they feel the need to destruct the imperfections they might have while... causing further imperfections.

I mean, it is not as severe when it comes to blogging, because some people, (mainly Myers-Briggs xxxP types) simply need to give it a go, before they find out whether they need it or not. Still, it has been somewhat proven that no matter how many readers the blog receives, there is always a point in keeping one. Universities throughout the Anglo-Saxon cultures encourage their students to keep their personal development plan, which, in a way, is quite similar to blogging. Aaand that is how I appeared here. My PDP project, the Plymouth Award, as they call it here, will soon be completed and I will no longer have a reason to share my feelings about a swimming workout with the world of near-zero population. Still, it made me think about the purpose of the workouts. And weirdly enough, I have lost about 10 kilos since starting to write the reflections and moved my BMI to what they call "normal range."

And then, I thought about further applications of this method (I silently reflected on the purpose of my PDP). It might be that for me, quite a borderline (pun totally intended) case of an introvert, an INFJ, writing a somewhat structured blog with few posts every now and then might help me become a little bit more normal from the mental perspective.

Actually, who am I? I am a twenty something individual with a psych diagnosis and medication, marginally high intelligence, and behavior of a little kid, except for in company of colleagues and strangers. I have had issues with being far too altruistic and not considering my own interests or benefits. A lot of love has been stuck inside of me and it needs to go somewhere. And I have a person to give it to, for which I am grateful. Though it is not what a normal person might think. Buut I am getting off-topic here.

Hereby, I promise to publish to this blog at least on fortnightly basis in order to reflect on some sort of issue that comes to my mind. It might be concerning myself, it might be on a general topic, or something everyone is talking about at all times. The point is, I am not promising this to the huge audience of 0 people I currently have. I promise it to myself. To my personal health. To the parts of me I got rid of with little suicides of my own.